How Can It Be?


I cannot believe we are at this point.  I really, truly, seriously cannot believe that Allistaire’s ANC is on the rise and our time at the hospital and this cancer journey is mostly coming to a close.

ANC:  Sunday – 0;  Monday – 7;  Tuesday – 20;   Wednesday – 66

Morphine Drip:  Saturday – 10;  Sunday – 10 then up to 15;  Monday – 15 then up to 20;  Tuesday – 20;  Wednesday – 15

Tuesday Allistaire ate 3 jars of baby food and 2 pieces of cheddar cheese.  Today she ate 1/2 jar of baby food and 1 1/2 pieces of cheddar cheese

Tonight Allistaire rode bikes, did some wiggle bottom moves, attempted to spin (though was hampered by tubes), talked sweetly to her doggie and bunny at bed time telling them that she loves them.

She is so very muchon the mend!  Yeah!

We’ll see what the coming days hold.  I’m honestly hoping we stay here through the weekend rather than being at our house where hopefully throngs of people will come to see our house and want to put in competing cash offers.  Okay, so the latter part probably won’t happen, but it would be a whole lot easier to be away from our house for one more weekend rather than trying to keep it clean and available at a moments notice with a 2-year-old who is still sleeping about 18 hours per day.  That is not an exaggeration.  She has been going to bed around 9 pm and getting up near 11 am and then taking a four-hour nap every afternoon.

I am in the process of gathering the names and faces of all those who have been such a part of our lives here.  I have more documenting to do before we gone.

I know many of you are wondering what the next steps are.  I don’t know exactly and honestly it is exhausting to try to plan things based on so many unknown things that are outside of our control.  But here are the basics as I know them:

Once Allistaire’s ANC gets to 200 and she is off TPN and Morphine, she can leave the hospital.

When her ANC is somewhere between 200-500 (hopefully closer to 500), she will have her very last bone marrow test.  Results will take about 2 days to get back.  She will not need to have another bone marrow test unless her Blood Counts from a monthly blood test show anything concerning.

I imagine we will have to go into clinic a few times to have blood counts checked and just to make sure she is doing okay.

They only have 2 appointment slots on Tuesdays to take lines out so we will be scheduled for that at some time in the next several weeks.

Once her line is out, we will simply have monthly blood tests, maybe a clinic visit as well.

We were told long ago that they would probably like to see us back here at Children’s on a quarterly basis so we will look forward to yet another compelling reason to come back for visits.

As for when we move to Montana completely, that is largely dependent on the sale of our house.  Of course we hope it is very soon so that we can all be together as a family again, but we will just have to wait and see.

For now, I realize I feel a bit homeless.  I am about to leave the place that has primarily been my home for the last five months.  Our house in Kent is less and less our home as now I don’t feel as able to just let loose there, knowing that it needs to be in showable condition at nearly any moment.  It is still hard to imagine Bozeman as home and we will not even be able to move into Meadow house until after August 1st.  I confess I feel so very weary of being a nomad, of taking my shampoo in and out of a bag every day.  I am tired of living out of a bag.  I am tired of being with people nearly 100% of the time.  I look forward to being quiet and alone and at rest in the ordinariness of daily life.  I so wish that leaving here meant that I was returning or even entering a more settled life but that will not be the case for several more months.  How can I not be anything but simply and utterly grateful to God?  I am full of gratitude but it is a wearied thanks and a thanks that is in many ways, still in its seed like form, waiting to expand and grow and rise up and become full.

4 responses »

  1. So, so glad that Allistaire is doing better!!! Praying for God’s timing with leaving the hospital. God is so good that you are to this point and that Allisatire is doing so well. I know all about transition and will be praying for God’s perfect timing and peace… And a bunch of cash offers:). Who knows? Praying your night goes well!

  2. I just heard your other little sweetie gets to see Anne of Green Gables tonight! What fun! My mom just ran into her and JoMarie. Hope you are having a good night and am praying the house sells this weekend!!

  3. Transitions! What do you say about the most difficult time in a life. You know what you are leaving and not sure of what is coming, but anxious to move on. I am so glad to hear that Allistaire is reaching the monitoring time in her life. How blessed to know that most of the Doctor and hospital stays are behind you. I will pray that your house is sold fast, so that your family can be reunited and you will have a time of healing for yourself. They say that selling a house is one of those major stresses in life that can bring on health issues in the future. Don’t even count what you have been dealing with the last several months. With this in mind, make sure that you take time for healing and renewing of yourself. Maybe the time alone in your house while you are waiting for it to sell will be that time for you to relax and enjoy a healthy Allistaire. Take care Jai, I love you and I have enjoyed getting to know you through this blog.

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