I just put Allistaire down for her nap. I rubbed her back, my head lowered. She must have assumed I was praying because she said, “pray chocolate milk and french fries.” Every single night we pray before dinner and I ask if anyone has anything to pray about, she always says with great exuberance, “how bout Trees!” Almost as often, she wants to thank God for chocolate milk and french fries. I know what you’re thinking, good grief Jai, if you don’t want your kid to have cancer, don’t give her chocolate milk and french fries. 🙂 I know you’re right but who can resist? And who can resist a little scrunched up face full of glee at the thought of such tasty delights?
When God told Noah it was finally time to come out of the ark, after over a year inside, Noah built an altar to thank the Lord for his salvation, for his provision, for his goodness and mercy. I have yet to figure out what sort of altar our thanks warrants, but it began with celebrating with some fro-yo, another tasty delight. Oreos, gummy bears, M ‘n’ Ms and chocolate frozen yogurt. Sten came with me to Allistaire’s appointment today. We sat side by side in the waiting room trying to focus on the Jungle Book that was playing on the TV, trying to give Baloo all of our attention. At the same time I asked myself what I will say when the reality of her cancer being back hits me. “All the days of my life are ordained for me.” God knew this day would come. He has shown me over and over the He has gone before me. He has provided abundantly in the past, He will be faithful again. The verse from Amazing Grace came to mind, “Through many dangers, toils and snares…we have already come, Twas grace that brought us safe thus far, and Grace will lead us home.” So often God calls His people to look back, to remember, in order to have courage for what lies ahead. I prayed that God would make my face radiant, because I was fixed on Him, regardless of the circumstances.
Today my face IS radiant – radiant because my face is turned to our Father, who graciously extended Allistaire’s life – again! Today Allistaire’s ANC is 2491 – the highest it has ever been in the past eleven months of blood tests since this all began. Her hematocrit is 39, platelets 251 and white blood cell count 4.7. She’s cranky and tired and pooky and a bit under the weather with a cough and a runny nose, but by all we can tell, she is well! One should always wear waterproof mascara to these sort of doctor’s visits, you just never can tell which way things will go, but tears seem to be there regardless.
We had a few stops before we went home and everywhere I went store clerks said their dutiful, “have a nice day.” Nice day? It is the most glorious day!!! I couldn’t help myself, I just had to tell them that Allistaire’s cancer is nowhere to be seen! We are alive – we might not be. What would it be like if I was just as surprised and shocked and overjoyed every day that I wake up to another day of life and I witness my husband’s life extended, my children’s, my parents, my dear brothers and sisters and friends? I would probably come across as obnoxious, but seriously, is it not incredible?! Man, these have been some seriously rough days. Everything has been laid on the line once again. Dr. Pollard said that Allistaire’s cancer is most likely to come back within the first 6 months if it is going to come back. Today is November 6th – not so much election day, as “Allistaire is Alive and Well Day” – 6 months and 4 days since she was discharged from the hospital. Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord Oh my soul! To God be the Glory, great things He hath done!
Thank you again for your bountiful prayers – your persistent prayers, and please do not stop praying for us! And please keep Caden and Stellablue in your prayers as well. Also Piper, remember Piper? Piper was diagnosed 2 weeks after Allistaire and had all great 0% bone marrow tests just like Allistaire. A week and a half ago, they found out her cancer has returned. She is back in the hospital and has already had her first round of chemo. Please pray for her also!
One last thing – in my post yesterday I mentioned in passing that the sun sat “average” in the sky – nothing to mark that day as any different from the rest. Well, God gave me quite a view of the sun only hours after writing that. A sun to mark the day – a sun not to forget. He is so good to me – in small ways and big!